~ Welcome to AntiPornography.org ~
PREVENTING AND COMBATING THE DEVASTATING HARMS OF
PORNOGRAPHY, PROSTITUTION, SEX TRAFFICKING & SEXUAL SLAVERY
Things I've Learned Throughout My Battle with Pornography Abuse and Addiction

 

-- By AntiPornography.org Contributor Nick. F

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I am married to a beautiful, amazing woman and we have two wonderful children.  I have a steady job, a graduate degree, and a promising future.  I’m also addicted to pornography.

Pornography abuse is something I’ve battled the majority of my adult life and is the one area of my life that causes me deep shame.  At first it started out as a curiosity, an attraction to the female body, and was limited to images and “soft” videos.  

As the years went on and the softer images didn’t elicit the same response in me, I started viewing things that were more illicit in nature.  To be completely honest, I’ve never liked or enjoyed “hardcore” pornography.  Every time I see it I feel like the person who drives by an accident — you know you shouldn’t look, but for some reason you can’t pull your eyes away.  

The reason I couldn’t pull my eyes away is because, despite the disgust I felt both at the images on screen and myself for having clicked the link, there was also excitement, titillation, and pleasure in watching the videos.  If that sounds contradictory, it’s because it is.  It doesn’t make sense, but that is how I felt.

My pornography use was always something I kept completely quiet, fearing people would find out and think less of me.  I consider myself to be a very spiritual person and come from a like-minded community.  Amongst my peers and fellow community members I felt completely alone and isolated, as if I were the only person on the entire planet with the problem.  I hid it from my parents, my family and friends, and my spiritual community for a very long time.  Every time I gave in and looked at pornography, I felt dirty inside, hating myself for not “being stronger” and not having the discipline to just “not look.”  Inevitably I would fall into the same trap, over and over again.

I finally decided to talk to my parents about it, which was one of the best decisions I could have made.  They listened, they cried with me, they were very supportive of my desire to change.  To this day they continue being lifelines.  I started talking to spiritual leaders and even went to a counselor who works specifically with pornography addiction.  Each time I talked to someone new, I feared they would judge me or treat me as if I were a pervert.  But each time I was surprised to find how eager people were to help.

Another thing I noticed when I began talking about my addiction was how many other people shared my struggle.  I wasn’t alone, something I should have realized when hearing about the multi-billion dollar industry that is pornography.  Many others struggle with pornography use and have the same desires to quit as I do.

Years went by with cyclical results.  Using a complete iron-will I would abstain for months at a time, but then something would happen — generally something that put my own self-worth in question — and I would somehow find myself in pornography’s accepting and strangling embrace.  Using pornography felt like “coming home” to a place that made me feel good superficially, only to fill me with remorse and regret soon thereafter.

When I met and fell in love I was terrified my girlfriend would find out.  When our love progressed and we decided to get married, I decided it was time to come clean.  The day I told her about my pornography addiction was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  It took her off guard and she asked me a few questions, but in the end she said we were in this together and would work together to overcome it.  To this day I am still grateful I talked to her because she has been my biggest support in trying to overcome it.

For about two years now I’ve been going to a psychotherapist to help me understand and deal with my pornography addiction.  I have leaned some things that are harrowing but also helpful to know.  Some of those things are:

* Pornography is as addictive as heroin and easier to come by.  You don’t even have to pay for it anymore.  It’s practically shoved at you for free on the Internet.  The same neurological process that makes someone addicted to crack-cocaine or heroin happens in the brain of a pornography addict, which means they suffer the same highs and lows, even withdrawals, because the limbic system of the brain believes it needs pornography to survive.  

* Pornography is not a “victimless” pastime.  The men and women who look at pornography propagate an industry that makes billions of dollars a year by using and abusing the sexuality and bodies of women and men who work in an industry that chews them up and spits them out for “entertainment purposes.”  On a more personal note, it takes men (and women) like me, who have happy marriages and families, and makes us commit mental adultery with every glamorized porn actress or actor we view, while hiding in darkened rooms watching movies, looking at magazines, or surfing the web.  It isn’t fair to them.  

* Pornography distorts a man’s view of womanhood.  Women play an essential role in society that cannot be filled by men.  They put their health and bodies on the line to bring children into this world.  It is a sacrifice, but one that most do with nothing but love in their hearts.  In most societies around the world, mothers are held with the utmost respect due to their influence as nurturers, educators, and protectors.   In pornographic materials women take on a very different role — they are the dominated, the “whore,” the “bitch” or the “slut.”  In the five, thirty or sixty minute video they are taken from “seductive and pure,” (most of the time purported as “virgins” in order to relay a fake sense of innocence), and changed into objects meant for only one thing — to please the man on screen abusing her, and the man off screen taking it all in.

* There is a big difference, in my opinion, between “sex” and “making love.”  “Sex” is an action, something that is done.  “Making love” is that same action but with care and affection mixed in.  Lovemaking is when each partner tried to please the other, make sure the other feels cared for and loved.  “Lovemaking” is not portrayed in pornography.  Instead, it’s all about pleasuring oneself at the expense of the other.  The women are put in uncomfortable and humiliating situations, forced to do things unnatural and unsafe, all leading up to that “all important” and anticipated moment where the man ejaculates on the elated face of the woman he intentionally violated and debased.

But it’s all just entertainment, right?

The more I discover about the industry, the more I know that statement is wrong.  Now more than ever I think of the women behind the “personage” on the screen.  How do they feel inside?  How do they deal psychologically with everything they are put through for other people’s “enjoyment”?  I’m sure there are some who say it’s their job and mean it, but I suspect the majority of them have deep, emotional scars as a result of their time in “the business.”  It sickens me to know that I have been involved in that, even if only as a spectator.

There are a few things that I’ve learned (and AM learning) that are helping me with my addiction:

-- The first is that I am a human, and as a human I make mistakes.  It’s been important for me to realize this in order to help let go of my crippling pornography habit.  It seemed that any time I made a mistake or something went wrong, pornography became my crutch.  It was an instant high, but never did anything to fix what pushed me towards it.  

-- Second, to become aware.  This applies on a couple of different levels. I’ve worked on being more aware of my emotions, aware of what pornography is doing to me and my family, and aware of how it affects those involved.  It’s amazing how often we go through this life on autopilot.  Some days you get up in the morning, go to work, drive home and are back in bed and you can’t remember anything from the day because it was so routine.  Being aware means knowing how I feel and why I feel it.  It means knowing I have a choice, and that I can always choose to do something besides looking at pornography.  No matter how many times I fall, I can always choose to get back up and do better.  

-- Third, change only comes when you want it.  Change isn’t easy.  You can’t fix a decade-long porn-habit in ten days.  It is something you will have to work on for a long time.  But, I sincerely believe there will come a time when it gets easier and easier to abstain.

-- Fourth, if you relapse — and you WILL relapse — you need to know how to lift yourself from the dirt and grime, dust yourself off, and keep advancing towards your goal of freedom.

-- Fifth, you cannot recover alone.  You have to have other people’s help.  When you talk about the addiction, it’s almost as if it takes power away from it.  If you have safe people you can talk to, they can help you when those urges come on — but only if you let them.

-- Sixth, be honest.  With yourself and with your loved ones.  You don’t have to go announcing to the world that you are addicted to pornography, but you’ll never be able to hide it from them forever.  I have been lucky in that my wife has supported me from day one.  I know others might not be so lucky, but you gain nothing from hiding your addiction from the one you love.  It only makes things worse.

I am still working towards full-recovery.  I go extended lengths of time without a relapse, and then, one day, it will happen.  I’ll struggle for a time, but then I right my way and keep going.  You can do that too.  I know you can.  Find like-minded people, share your story, take the power away from pornography and place it back in your own hands.  

My best wishes are with you.

Finally, I know this might seem a little “too easy” or like a copout, but I would like to apologize to everyone I have objectified as a result of my pornography abuse.  I would especially like to apologize to my wife and reaffirm my promise to her that I will keep working at my recovery.  Thank you, sweetie, for all of your love and support throughout the years.  I couldn’t do it without you.

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For more information about the harms of pornography use and addiction, as well as resources to help quit using pornography, please check out our page on porn addiction, our PornAddictionHelp YouTube channel, and our @PornAddictHelp1 Twitter account

For more than 50 original personal stories about the harms of pornography use and addiction, please check out the addiction section of our Harm Stories page. Thanks!

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DESCRIPTION
 
Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality takes an unflinching look at today’s porn industry: the stories woven into the images, the impact on our culture, the effects on us as men and women, the business machine that creates and markets porn, and the growing legitimacy of porn in mainstream media. Above all, PORNLAND examines the way porn shapes and limits sexual imaginations and behaviors.
 
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TABLE OF CONTENTS AND EXCERPTS
 
Introduction - Porn and the Industrialization of Sex (Excerpt)
 
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For more information about the documented harms of pornography please visit the extremely informative website Pornography Harms at PornHarms.com.  

"Dedicated to providing the most accurate peer-reviewed research on the harm from pornography, along with relevant news and opinion."  


This outstanding website comprehensively addresses the harms of pornography in regards to all of the following categories: addiction, brain science, children, cybersex, family, Internet, Internet safety, marriage, men, psychological, prostitution, relationships, research, self image, sex trafficking, sexting, sexual violence, societal, STDs, teens, and women.

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"Frequently Asked Questions & Responses to Pro-Pornography Arguments"

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~~  NO-PORN PLEDGE  ~~

Have you taken the NO-PORN PLEDGE at NoPornPledge.com yet? If not, now would be a really great time to do so!  Please click here or the banner below.

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See the list of many people from all around the world who have signed the No-Porn Pledge. Click here

Read the reasons why they have signed in the No-PornPledge Guestbook. Click here. Don't forget to join them by signing the pledge and sharing your reasons why in the guestbook there as well!

From NoPornPledge.com:

"Join a growing number of people who have made a decision to eliminate porn from their lives. Sign your name, and publicly declare that you won't use porn, or have an intimate relationship with anyone who does."

~~  TAKE THE PLEDGE NOW  ~~

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At AntiPornography.org we are working to prevent and combat the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, as well as all other forms of sexual exploitation, through public education and advocacy. We are:
 
 
Anti-Censorship, Pro-Free Speech, Nonreligious, Anti-Banning

Anti-Sexism, Anti-Exploitation, Anti-Slavery, Anti-Violence ~

Pro-Education, Pro Safe, Healthy, Respectful, Equality-Based Sexuality 

Pro-reasonable regulation of the pornography industry for the health and safety of the performers.

*Please see FAQ for more information on all of the above.  Thank you!

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RESOURCES, FRIENDS, SUPPORTERS AND ALLIES:

NOTE: All those marked with * are friends, subscribers or followers of AntiPornography.org at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or one of our other social networking websites, or have demonstrated support for our work otherwise, such as providing content for this website or linking to us or to one of our blogs and/or social networking projects. Also please note that the below list is a work in progress and that it is not complete. Please share any errors, omissions or suggestions here. Thank you!


WOMEN AND GIRLS FOCUSED RESOURCES:  

(For family, children, men and addiction focused resources, please scroll down.)

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS GROUPS AND WEBSITES:  

*Culture Reframed      Pornography FAQ      *ResistPorn Culture (UK)     No Porn Pledge     *Against Pornography

*Anti-Porn Feminists (Anti-Porn London)    Men Against Porn / Prostitution / Patriarchy     *The Violence of Pornography (Graphic) 

  *No Porn Northampton    Playboy: Talkin' Trash     *Girls Against Porn      Bin the Bunny      Stop Patriarchy

*JoinPornBusters YouTube Channel    The Price of Pleasure Documentary Film Website  

*Come Back From Your Fantasy (Sex-Positive Anti-Porn Feminist Tumblr, by young feminist Kelsey Ruane)

*Make Love Not Porn (Not technically anti-porn but shows differences of porn vs. real life.)

Somebody's Daughter   *Fight the New Drug  *pornTRUTH   

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'ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ACTIVIST INDIVIDUALS, AUTHORS AND FILMMAKERS:  
 
 
 
 

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ANTI-PROSTITUTION/TRAFFICKING/SEXUAL EXPLOITATION/ABUSE SITES, ETC:
 
 
The above channels are AntiPornography.org pjts with MANY videos & helpful resources! 
 
 
 

Polaris Project     Breaking Free     SAGE (Standing Against Global Exploitation)  

The Lola Green Baldwin Foundation    Stop Demand Foundation  Genderberg

*SCASE (Scottish Coalition Against Sexual Exploitation)    Our Voices Matter   

*CAASE  (Chicago Coalition against Sexual Exploitation)  StopTraffickingDemand.com

*BSCC (Bilateral Safety Corridor Coalition)  Beauty from Ashes   *Not for Sale Campaign 

New York Anti-Trafficking Coalition   Coalition for Action on Sexism and True Equality

*Is There Something I Can Do?  *StAT (Stand Against Trafficking)  *Stop Slavery Here

*Artists United for Social Justice  Freedom & Justice Center (For Prostitution Resources)

Donna M. Hughes, PhD  (Dignity List)   Chicago Coalition for the Homeless  

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault    Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault 

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FEMINIST, WOMEN & GIRLS ADVOCATE ORGANIZATIONS & GROUPS, ETC:

*Equality Now    *The F-Word    *Off Our Backs     *Women for Women International

     *Global Fund for Women  *London Feminist Network  *Feminist.com

*The National Organization for Women (NOW)    Feminist Majority Foundation  (FMF)

*Feminist Campus   Ms. Magazine  *Safe World 4 Women   *Women's Law Society

*WomensLaw.org   *U.S. Department of State's Office of Global Women's Issues  

*SIGI.org  *GlobalSister.org  FeministGifts.com  *The Date Safe Project  *VAWNet  

*No Statute of Limitations   *RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) 

*The National Domestic Violence Hotline  *Guard Yourself Now  *UK Feminista

Chicago Foundation for Women    *The Women's Media Center  The F-Files

*Free Girl Foundation  *Girls Fight Back   *The Girl Effect   *Girls for Gender Equity   

*Girl Fest Hawaii   *Rain & Thunder    Daughters of the Sun - A Youth Leader Project

*Biting Beaver  *No Excuses / No Mercy   *RadFem Hub
 
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MEN AGAINST SEXISM, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION  & ABUSE, ETC.

NOMAS (National Organization of Men Against Sexism )    *Men Can Stop Rape     *My Strength Campaign  

*Men Stopping Violence      *A Call to Men UK       *The White Ribbon Campaign (CA)  

  *Reclaiming Sex From XXX       *Byron Hurt       Jackson Katz   

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MEDIA, FREE SPEECH, & OTHER ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS & SITES:

 *Media Education Foundation Women's Institute for Freedom of the Press

Miboda Agency

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MESSAGE BOARDS AND FORUMS FOR HELP, INFORMATION & SUPPORT:

There are MANY anti-porn groups and pages at Facebook.
 
Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography" and similar terms.
 
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FAMILY, CHILDREN, MEN & ADDICTION FOCUSED RESOURCES:   

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS, AND WEBSITES: 

*National Center on Sexual Exploitation      *Pornography Harms      *Enough Is Enough      ProtectKids.com     

*Pornversations - College tour of an ex porn performer and an ex porn addict    Protect Young Minds

 National Law Center  for Children and Families    *Traffic Control, the Movie     Maryland Coalition Against Pornography   

It's Time We Talked      Utah Coalition Against Pornography       BraveHearts       Diamond Heart Foundation

Report Online Child Pornography/Exploitation at CyberTipLine.com or 1-800-843-5678

*Darkness 2 Light    *XXX Church    Department of Justice  ThePornTalk.com  

Social Costs of PornographyConference Videos   Papers   Report of Findings

*Safe Eyes (InternetSafety.com)  *Convenant Eyes   Internet Filter Review     *Women for Decency     AntiChildPorn.org

Say No to Pornography Pakistan - Let's Wage a War Against Pornography Blogspot

Canadians Addressing Sexual Exploitation  (C.A.S.E.) (Canada)

CANADA - List of other anti-pornography and related Canadian organizations

(Scroll down on above link to get to the list of organizations)

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ACTIVIST INDIVIDUALS, AUTHORS, AND THERAPISTS:  

*Pat Trueman  (Founder of Pornography Harms) Pamela Paul  (Author of "Pornified")

Dr. Jill C. Manning (Author:"What's the Big Deal about Pornography? A Guide for the Internet Generation")

Dr. Judith Reisman   *Dr. Robi Sonderegger

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ANTI-PROSTITUTION/TRAFFICKING/SEXUAL EXPLOITATION/ABUSE SITES, ETC:  

*Shared Hope International     Free the Slaves

*IJM Institute (International Justice Mission)   *Global Centurion   *Live2free

*ECPAT - USA (End Child Prostitution & Trafficking)  *Beyond Borders (ECPATCanada)

*T-Stop (Texas Sex Trafficking Obliteration Project)   *Love146 NYC Task Force

*End Slavery NT (End Slavery in Tennessee and Beyond)   *Chab Dai Coalition

*Justice and Care (South Asia)  *Rock Against Slavery   End Demand

Overexposed, the Movie   Call and Response, the Movie    *Nowhere2Hide

CASEY (Community Against Sexual Exploitation of Youth. Canada)   

 
 

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OTHER RELATED ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS, WEBSITES & CAUSES:

*Parents Television Council   *Web Wise Kids   *InternetSafety.com

*ClearInternational   *Cyber Safety Book  (Ken Knapton)   *Optenet PC

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PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION AND COMPULSION HELP AND SUPPORT:  

*PornAddictionHelp YouTube Channel - AntiPornography.org project with MANY videos & resources!

*Inner Gold    *Fight the New Drug   *Compulsion Solutions   The Mindful Habit

*Porn Game Over    MeadowCrest   Your Brain on Porn    HealthySex.com (Wendy Maltz)   Reboot Nation

Sexual Recovery Institute    *Just Be Well    *No-Porn.com  No-Porn.com Message Board

*Impulse Treatment Center (Sex Addict Treatment - Don L. Matthews)   *Covenant Eyes   *Stepping Inward

*Mindful Recovery   My Porn Addiction Story - Porn Addiction Help from a Former Addict

Porn Addicts Anonymous  Porn & Relationships Q&A (By "Porn Trap's'" Wendy Maltz)  Addicted to Internet Porn

Porn Addict Hubby  (Relationship Rescue for Wives & Girlfriends of Internet Porn Addicts)

Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center    The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH)

Don't Reward Bad Behaviour - Guidance for Partners of Porn Addicts  Desert Solace

Petra Bueskens of PPMD Therapy (Australia)   PPMD Therapy Facebook   Guilty Pleasure

QuitPorn Group Text Hotline - "To become a member and join our group text community, start by texting QUITPORN to 23559"  Twitter: @QuitPornHotline  YouTube: QuitPornTextHotline

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LOOKING FOR A SEX OR PORN ADDICTION THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR? 

Check out this very helpful directory of over 1,000 entries in the United States!

http://www.abattleplan.com/counselors-therapists-sex-addiction-directory/

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ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE:

Saavi Accountability -- The only online accountability program that works with all online addictions. It is also the only program that sends notifications instantly via text message to an accountability partner so that they can be supportive when an individual needs it the most at the point of weakness, while they are accessing the online content. The software was created by a young man (26) who overcame his addiction and is trying to help others.  

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ADDICTION MESSAGE BOARDS & DISCUSSION FORUMS FOR HELP & SUPPORT:

No-Porn.com Message Board

Porn Addict Hubby Discussion Board  (For Wives & Girlfriends of Internet Porn Addicts)

NOTE: There are MANY anti-porn and porn addiciton discussion groups and pages at Facebook.

Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "porn addiction", "pornography addiction", "sex addiction", "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography"

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For more than 50 personal stories documenting the harms of compulsive and/or excessive pornography use and/or pornography addiction please see our "Porn Harm Stories" page.  Thank you.

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NEED HELP WITH PORN ADDICTION?

CHECK OUT THE MINDFUL HABIT!

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OTHER HELPFUL FAQs & Q&As: (By other anti-pornography organizations, etc) 

*Gail Dines Q&A     *Against Pornography FAQ    Pornography FAQ - By Pro-feminist Michael Lovan

  *Shelley Lubben Q&A (Ex-Porn Star)    Prostitution FAQ at Genderberg      Fight the New Drug FAQ   

(Note: The No Porn Northampton FAQ is in the bottom half of their sidebar. In addition to the usual questions about pornography it addresses questions and concerns about activism against sexually oriented businesses such as "adult bookstores.")

AntiPornography.org's "Frequently Asked Questions & Responses to Pro-Pornography Arguments"

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Shared Hope International specifically focuses on fighting the demand for commercial sexual exploitaiton, including addressing pornography as a very significant demand factor for sex trafficking. 

Please see their excellent report on this issue:

Pornography: Creating Demand for International Sex Trafficking

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"Pornography is a marketing device for sex trafficking: It normalizes degradation and violence as acceptable and even inevitable parts of sex, and uses the bodies of real women and children as objects. The difference between pornography and erotica is clear in the roots of the words themselves -- porne means females slaves, eros means love -- so pornography, like rape, is about violence and domination, not sex. Millions of lives depend on our ability to separate pornography from erotica, and to disentangle violence from sexuality."

Gloria Steinem, 2006

For information about Gloria Steinem's important work of fighting against the harms of pornography, sex trafficking and other forms of sexual exploitation and abuse, including videos and an audio interview, please see our page on Gloria Steinem. Click here.

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For more information on how pornography fuels prostitution and sex trafficking, please see our page on Pornography and Trafficking.  Click here.  Thank you!

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YOUR HELP IS NEEDED. PLEASE DONATE IF YOU ARE ABLE TO.

Please remember that it is not up to AntiPornography.org, the other organizations listed on this page, the government, or "someone else" to do the entire job of fighting against the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, trafficking, and other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse. It is an enormous job and the responsibility lies with each and every one of us to do our part as part of the bigger team of those who are choosing to be part of the solution of creating a more just and humane world for everyone, rather than be part of the problem.

So thank you in advance for whatever you are able to contribute to the cause, whether in the form of a tax-deductible donation or your actions. What you do does matter, so for the sake of all those across the world who are being exploited and abused, and for the sake of the future of humanity, please do what you can to create a more compassionate and safer society for all.

Thank you for whatever you are able to give or do to help create a better world for everyone, especially for women, children and future generations.

 YOUR SUPPORTIVE ACTIONS & YOUR DONATIONS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. 

THEY CAN AND WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

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THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! IT'S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED AND REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE!

 

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