~ Welcome to AntiPornography.org ~
PREVENTING AND COMBATING THE DEVASTATING HARMS OF
PORNOGRAPHY, PROSTITUTION, SEX TRAFFICKING & SEXUAL SLAVERY
Personal FAQ for Vanessa Belmond -- Ex Porn Performer, Stripper, Camgirl and "Escort"

- By Vanessa Belmond 

- Anti-Porn, Anti-Prostitution and Anti-Sexual Abuse Writer, Speaker and Activist

- AntiPornography.org Volunteer

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Please check out my personal FAQ below! Thanks! :)

NOTE: If you have any other questions about me they are likely answered in the many articles about my life that I've written, or in the interviews that I've done, which are all posted on my main page at the link below:

http://www.antipornography.org/ex-porn-star-vanessa-belmond.html

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Frequently Asked Personal Questions for Vanessa Belmond

Why did you decide to enter the sex industry at the age of eighteen?

I thought that the sex industry would be a fun and easy way to make money. Seeing porn stars glamorizing the business on shows like Howard Stern also influenced my decision to do porn and stripping. Additionally, like many women that enter the sex industry, I had very low self-esteem. Because of this I thought that I wasn't capable of doing anything else for a living. 

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How did you get started in porn and the sex industry?

I started stripping shortly after I turned eighteen. While working in a club I met an assistant to a "feature dancer." (This is someone who travels to different strip clubs to do featured shows there. It's usually a porn performer.) The assistant gave me a card for a porn agency, which I then contacted, and I was shooting porn scenes not too long after that.

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What did your family and friends think of you doing porn, and how did they react?

My parents were understandably devastated and for years our relationship was strained. It was hard to talk to them because I couldn't really talk about anything going on in my life. (I.e. The drugs, the sex, or my job.) 

My best friend was worried, but stood by me the whole time. Most of my other friends were either in the industry, or old high school friends that I didn't really talk to once I graduated.

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Did you ever enjoy the sex you had in porn? Or really have orgasms?

99% of the time, NO! Porn sex is not like sex you have for fun or with someone you care about. It's all about putting on a show for the viewers. Even current porn performers will often admit that porn sex is meant to look good, not feel good. When I was doing porn scenes I was always focusing on saying the right things and making the sex APPEAR "hot and passionate," not on authentically feeling good. Also the directors -- who are constantly telling the performers what to do and how to act -- don't care at all if the female performers have a real orgasm or not, because it's all about the FANTASY and ILLUSION being created for the viewer, not the actual reality of what the women are experiencing. The directors are not at all concerned with performers enjoying what they're doing.

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Because you did some "lesbian porn," does that mean you are really a lesbian or a bisexual? And did you enjoy doing that porn?

Like most women in the business I did some so-called "lesbian porn" for the paycheck. I actually grew to hate doing lesbian scenes because the other women were often difficult to work with for various reasons. I expand on these issues in my article about my experiences in lesbian porn at the link below:

http://www.antipornography.org/my-story-of-lesbian-porn-harms-and-why-its-fake.html

NOTE: I did have a brief lesbian personal relationship, but I am not bisexual or a lesbian. I got involved with a woman because I wanted a relationship but was so turned off men because of all the obnoxious johns in the strip club I worked at. I write about that experience in my article about it at the link below:

http://www.antipornography.org/how-I-turned-lesbian-temporarily-due-to-stripping.html

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Did you ever get a sexually transmitted disease or any injuries while doing porn, or did it affect your health in any other ways?

Yes! I got chlamydia and gonorrhea regularly while doing porn. I also had to deal with constantly getting pink eye, the flu, and strep throat almost on a monthly basis. In porn you get tested every month, which means that someone can test clean, get an STD the next day, and then go "work with" other performers that whole month, spreading the STD to everyone they have contact with. Porn sets themselves tend to be dirty, and strip clubs are also a breeding ground for germs. I write more about my experience with diseases and injuries in my article about this topic at the link below: 

http://www.antipornography.org/is-porn-sex-healthy-and-safe.html

I also elaborate on this topic in my article about why I support condoms in porn and the legal efforts to implement them in the industry. (Measure B, AB 332, and AB 640) See link below:

http://www.antipornography.org/why-condoms-in-porn-should-be-mandatory.html

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Do you want to ban porn or get it banned by the government?

No, I don't believe in banning things like porn that I don't approve of, that other people are freely participating in, even if it's something that I believe is harmful to them or others. (Unless it's clearly extremely violent, abusive or destructive.) My focus is on education and raising awareness to help reduce demand and supply, by helping people make better choices. Showing people the ugly reality of porn will do a lot more to create a significant, long-term  positive change in society than simply banning it. To really get to the root of the problem, we need to examine and change the over-sexualized and sexually exploitative culture we're living in, (and the attitudes and actions associated with it), not just make laws against it. (Note: I do support laws to ensure the health and safety of porn performers and to keep children from accessing pornography.)

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Did you ever have any fun times in the sex industry?

All of the apparent "good times" that I had in the industry also happened to be times when I was drunk and high. I can't recall any truly good, sober times in the business. For much of my life, I thought I couldn't have any real fun sober. Now, I see how mistaken I was!

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Do you think that the porn industry just wasn't right for you personally, or is it simply not a good career choice for anyone?

I don't think it's a good choice or "career" for anyone. The sad truth is that even the "top" porn performers tend to have a lot of issues, and ultimately, even if they make a large amount of money doing porn, it usually doesn't last very long. Most women either get used up and thrown out within a few years, or they burn out emotionally and mentally and leave because they just can't take it anymore. No amount of money is worth the physical and emotional damage porn does to a person, not to mention the fact that it follows you for the rest of your life. I would never encourage anyone to get into the sex industry, period!

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If porn and the sex industry were so harmful and unfulfilling for you, why did you stay in for seven years and why didn't you leave sooner?

I felt trapped. With no degree, no real work experience, and with my porn all over the internet, I couldn't imagine any regular employer giving me a chance. So I figured I may as well "make the best of it" and use my "porn name" in things like webcamming and stripping. The sad reality is that I truly felt that I had no other options. Many people in the sex industry feel the same way, which is why they stay even when they are miserable in it. Also I felt that "regular" people would personally reject me due to my past, and that the sex industry was the only place I would ever be accepted. My self-esteem, which was already low when I entered the industry, sunk even lower every year I stayed in it. 

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Why did you finally decide to leave porn and the sex industry?

I finally broke down and realized that no amount of money would make staying in the business worth it, or could compensate for how damaging it was to me. So I quit, and finally, after months spent looking for a regular job, someone decided to give me a chance!

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Why did you decide to speak out against the harms of pornography and the sex industry?

I saw how porn and the sex industry had affected not only me, but the people I worked with and the consumers. I know many teens and young people are just like I used to be, thinking that the sex industry is fun, glamorous, or even "artistic". I want to destroy those false perceptions and shine a light on the depressing reality of this industry. I don't want other people to make the same life-altering and destructive mistakes that I did.

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Do you still talk to any of your old friends from the sex industry?

When I left the business all but two of my sex industry friends dropped me. I was naive enough to think that they wouldn't do that because I wasn't trying to make them leave the industry and I wasn't being critical towards them. But I was wrong. The second I decided to change my life they all disappeared. So now, out of all the people that I met in seven years in the industry, I only talk to a former webmaster/fellow performer, and one woman that I used to strip with. (She quit stripping about two years before me.) To be fair, once I quit porn I also severely cut down on my drinking and stopped partying completely. After I did this I soon found out that my "sex industry friends" and I didn't really have very much in common at all!

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Do you miss anything about the sex industry?

Honestly, no! I thought that I would miss the money, or maybe the "freedom" that I thought I had in the sex industry, but I really don't. If anything, I feel more free than ever. I feel like I have gotten out of a prison that I never really knew I was in! When I see old pictures of me partying, or old pictures of me doing porn, I feel nothing but sadness, regret and disgust. I can't believe I managed to stay in the industry as long as I did, and I really wish that I had left much earlier, or even better -- never done it in the first place.

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What do your family and friends think of your leaving the sex industry and speaking out against it now?

My parents were very happy to see me leave and my relationship with them is healing and getting better every day! My best friend was also thrilled to see me leave the industry, and she recently told me that I seem so much happier now. 

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What are your future plans?

I would like to go back to school part-time by next year, and eventually get a degree. I also plan to keep working with AntiPornography.org to hopefully reach as many people as possible with my message of how harmful the sex industry is! I want to eventually get to the point where I can work full-time for AntiPornography.org as their Director of Youth and Sex Industry Outreach so I can help young people avoid the pitfalls of pornography, prostitution, and other forms of commercial sexual exploitation. I also really want to help other women and men leave the sex industry, so they can start over with a new, healthier, and more productive life, like I've been able to do. 

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IMPORTANT NOTE: If you'd like to support my work with AntiPornography.org, please feel free to make a secure tax-deductible donation below. It will assist us in helping at-risk young people, help us in stopping people from supporting the porn and sex industries, and help us to assist exploited, abused and traumatized individuals to leave the sex industry and to stay out of it. 

Thanks in advance to all good and caring people who donate! Your contributions DO make a difference and are very much appreciated! :)

~ Vanessa Belmond

P.S. If anyone can't afford to personally donate, but is able to refer us to sources of major funding for our organization, or to spend some time doing some fundraising for us, please connect with us via our contact page below. Thanks! :)

http://www.antipornography.org/contact.html 

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Please feel free to check out my writing about the harms of pornography, prostitution, stripping, and related issues! Click HERE.

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DESCRIPTION
 
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Introduction - Porn and the Industrialization of Sex (Excerpt)
 
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Four - Grooming For Gonzo: Becoming a Man in a Porn Culture

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For more information about the documented harms of pornography please visit the extremely informative website Pornography Harms at PornHarms.com.  

"Dedicated to providing the most accurate peer-reviewed research on the harm from pornography, along with relevant news and opinion."  


This outstanding website comprehensively addresses the harms of pornography in regards to all of the following categories: addiction, brain science, children, cybersex, family, Internet, Internet safety, marriage, men, psychological, prostitution, relationships, research, self image, sex trafficking, sexting, sexual violence, societal, STDs, teens, and women.

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"Frequently Asked Questions & Responses to Pro-Pornography Arguments"

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~~  NO-PORN PLEDGE  ~~

Have you taken the NO-PORN PLEDGE at NoPornPledge.com yet? If not, now would be a really great time to do so!  Please click here or the banner below.

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Read the reasons why they have signed in the No-PornPledge Guestbook. Click here. Don't forget to join them by signing the pledge and sharing your reasons why in the guestbook there as well!

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At AntiPornography.org we are working to prevent and combat the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, as well as all other forms of sexual exploitation, through public education and advocacy. We are:
 
 
Anti-Censorship, Pro-Free Speech, Nonreligious, Anti-Banning

Anti-Sexism, Anti-Exploitation, Anti-Slavery, Anti-Violence ~

Pro-Education, Pro Safe, Healthy, Respectful, Equality-Based Sexuality 

Pro-reasonable regulation of the pornography industry for the health and safety of the performers.

*Please see FAQ for more information on all of the above.  Thank you!

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RESOURCES, FRIENDS, SUPPORTERS AND ALLIES:

NOTE: All those marked with * are friends, subscribers or followers of AntiPornography.org at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or one of our other social networking websites, or have demonstrated support for our work otherwise, such as providing content for this website or linking to us or to one of our blogs and/or social networking projects. Also please note that the below list is a work in progress and that it is not complete. Please share any errors, omissions or suggestions here. Thank you!


WOMEN AND GIRLS FOCUSED RESOURCES:  

(For family, children, men and addiction focused resources, please scroll down.)

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS GROUPS AND WEBSITES:  

*Culture Reframed      Pornography FAQ      *ResistPorn Culture (UK)     No Porn Pledge     *Against Pornography

*Anti-Porn Feminists (Anti-Porn London)    Men Against Porn / Prostitution / Patriarchy     *The Violence of Pornography (Graphic) 

  *No Porn Northampton    Playboy: Talkin' Trash     *Girls Against Porn      Bin the Bunny      Stop Patriarchy

*JoinPornBusters YouTube Channel    The Price of Pleasure Documentary Film Website  

*Come Back From Your Fantasy (Sex-Positive Anti-Porn Feminist Tumblr, by young feminist Kelsey Ruane)

*Make Love Not Porn (Not technically anti-porn but shows differences of porn vs. real life.)

Somebody's Daughter   *Fight the New Drug  *pornTRUTH   

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'ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ACTIVIST INDIVIDUALS, AUTHORS AND FILMMAKERS:  
 
 
 
 

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ANTI-PROSTITUTION/TRAFFICKING/SEXUAL EXPLOITATION/ABUSE SITES, ETC:
 
 
The above channels are AntiPornography.org pjts with MANY videos & helpful resources! 
 
 
 

Polaris Project     Breaking Free     SAGE (Standing Against Global Exploitation)  

The Lola Green Baldwin Foundation    Stop Demand Foundation  Genderberg

*SCASE (Scottish Coalition Against Sexual Exploitation)    Our Voices Matter   

*CAASE  (Chicago Coalition against Sexual Exploitation)  StopTraffickingDemand.com

*BSCC (Bilateral Safety Corridor Coalition)  Beauty from Ashes   *Not for Sale Campaign 

New York Anti-Trafficking Coalition   Coalition for Action on Sexism and True Equality

*Is There Something I Can Do?  *StAT (Stand Against Trafficking)  *Stop Slavery Here

*Artists United for Social Justice  Freedom & Justice Center (For Prostitution Resources)

Donna M. Hughes, PhD  (Dignity List)   Chicago Coalition for the Homeless  

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault    Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault 

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FEMINIST, WOMEN & GIRLS ADVOCATE ORGANIZATIONS & GROUPS, ETC:

*Equality Now    *The F-Word    *Off Our Backs     *Women for Women International

     *Global Fund for Women  *London Feminist Network  *Feminist.com

*The National Organization for Women (NOW)    Feminist Majority Foundation  (FMF)

*Feminist Campus   Ms. Magazine  *Safe World 4 Women   *Women's Law Society

*WomensLaw.org   *U.S. Department of State's Office of Global Women's Issues  

*SIGI.org  *GlobalSister.org  FeministGifts.com  *The Date Safe Project  *VAWNet  

*No Statute of Limitations   *RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) 

*The National Domestic Violence Hotline  *Guard Yourself Now  *UK Feminista

Chicago Foundation for Women    *The Women's Media Center  The F-Files

*Free Girl Foundation  *Girls Fight Back   *The Girl Effect   *Girls for Gender Equity   

*Girl Fest Hawaii   *Rain & Thunder    Daughters of the Sun - A Youth Leader Project

*Biting Beaver  *No Excuses / No Mercy   *RadFem Hub
 
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MEN AGAINST SEXISM, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION  & ABUSE, ETC.

NOMAS (National Organization of Men Against Sexism )    *Men Can Stop Rape     *My Strength Campaign  

*Men Stopping Violence      *A Call to Men UK       *The White Ribbon Campaign (CA)  

  *Reclaiming Sex From XXX       *Byron Hurt       Jackson Katz   

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MEDIA, FREE SPEECH, & OTHER ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS & SITES:

 *Media Education Foundation Women's Institute for Freedom of the Press

Miboda Agency

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MESSAGE BOARDS AND FORUMS FOR HELP, INFORMATION & SUPPORT:

There are MANY anti-porn groups and pages at Facebook.
 
Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography" and similar terms.
 
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FAMILY, CHILDREN, MEN & ADDICTION FOCUSED RESOURCES:   

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS, AND WEBSITES: 

*National Center on Sexual Exploitation      *Pornography Harms      *Enough Is Enough      ProtectKids.com     

*Pornversations - College tour of an ex porn performer and an ex porn addict    Protect Young Minds

 National Law Center  for Children and Families    *Traffic Control, the Movie     Maryland Coalition Against Pornography   

It's Time We Talked      Utah Coalition Against Pornography       BraveHearts       Diamond Heart Foundation

Report Online Child Pornography/Exploitation at CyberTipLine.com or 1-800-843-5678

*Darkness 2 Light    *XXX Church    Department of Justice  ThePornTalk.com  

Social Costs of PornographyConference Videos   Papers   Report of Findings

*Safe Eyes (InternetSafety.com)  *Convenant Eyes   Internet Filter Review     *Women for Decency     AntiChildPorn.org

Say No to Pornography Pakistan - Let's Wage a War Against Pornography Blogspot

Canadians Addressing Sexual Exploitation  (C.A.S.E.) (Canada)

CANADA - List of other anti-pornography and related Canadian organizations

(Scroll down on above link to get to the list of organizations)

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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ACTIVIST INDIVIDUALS, AUTHORS, AND THERAPISTS:  

*Pat Trueman  (Founder of Pornography Harms) Pamela Paul  (Author of "Pornified")

Dr. Jill C. Manning (Author:"What's the Big Deal about Pornography? A Guide for the Internet Generation")

Dr. Judith Reisman   *Dr. Robi Sonderegger

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ANTI-PROSTITUTION/TRAFFICKING/SEXUAL EXPLOITATION/ABUSE SITES, ETC:  

*Shared Hope International     Free the Slaves

*IJM Institute (International Justice Mission)   *Global Centurion   *Live2free

*ECPAT - USA (End Child Prostitution & Trafficking)  *Beyond Borders (ECPATCanada)

*T-Stop (Texas Sex Trafficking Obliteration Project)   *Love146 NYC Task Force

*End Slavery NT (End Slavery in Tennessee and Beyond)   *Chab Dai Coalition

*Justice and Care (South Asia)  *Rock Against Slavery   End Demand

Overexposed, the Movie   Call and Response, the Movie    *Nowhere2Hide

CASEY (Community Against Sexual Exploitation of Youth. Canada)   

 
 

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OTHER RELATED ORGANIZATIONS, GROUPS, WEBSITES & CAUSES:

*Parents Television Council   *Web Wise Kids   *InternetSafety.com

*ClearInternational   *Cyber Safety Book  (Ken Knapton)   *Optenet PC

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PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION AND COMPULSION HELP AND SUPPORT:  

*PornAddictionHelp YouTube Channel - AntiPornography.org project with MANY videos & resources!

*Inner Gold    *Fight the New Drug   *Compulsion Solutions   The Mindful Habit

*Porn Game Over    MeadowCrest   Your Brain on Porn    HealthySex.com (Wendy Maltz)   Reboot Nation

Sexual Recovery Institute    *Just Be Well    *No-Porn.com  No-Porn.com Message Board

*Impulse Treatment Center (Sex Addict Treatment - Don L. Matthews)   *Covenant Eyes   *Stepping Inward

*Mindful Recovery   My Porn Addiction Story - Porn Addiction Help from a Former Addict

Porn Addicts Anonymous  Porn & Relationships Q&A (By "Porn Trap's'" Wendy Maltz)  Addicted to Internet Porn

Porn Addict Hubby  (Relationship Rescue for Wives & Girlfriends of Internet Porn Addicts)

Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center    The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH)

Don't Reward Bad Behaviour - Guidance for Partners of Porn Addicts  Desert Solace

Petra Bueskens of PPMD Therapy (Australia)   PPMD Therapy Facebook   Guilty Pleasure

QuitPorn Group Text Hotline - "To become a member and join our group text community, start by texting QUITPORN to 23559"  Twitter: @QuitPornHotline  YouTube: QuitPornTextHotline

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LOOKING FOR A SEX OR PORN ADDICTION THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR? 

Check out this very helpful directory of over 1,000 entries in the United States!

http://www.abattleplan.com/counselors-therapists-sex-addiction-directory/

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ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE:

Saavi Accountability -- The only online accountability program that works with all online addictions. It is also the only program that sends notifications instantly via text message to an accountability partner so that they can be supportive when an individual needs it the most at the point of weakness, while they are accessing the online content. The software was created by a young man (26) who overcame his addiction and is trying to help others.  

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ADDICTION MESSAGE BOARDS & DISCUSSION FORUMS FOR HELP & SUPPORT:

No-Porn.com Message Board

Porn Addict Hubby Discussion Board  (For Wives & Girlfriends of Internet Porn Addicts)

NOTE: There are MANY anti-porn and porn addiciton discussion groups and pages at Facebook.

Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "porn addiction", "pornography addiction", "sex addiction", "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography"

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For more than 50 personal stories documenting the harms of compulsive and/or excessive pornography use and/or pornography addiction please see our "Porn Harm Stories" page.  Thank you.

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NEED HELP WITH PORN ADDICTION?

CHECK OUT THE MINDFUL HABIT!

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OTHER HELPFUL FAQs & Q&As: (By other anti-pornography organizations, etc) 

*Gail Dines Q&A     *Against Pornography FAQ    Pornography FAQ - By Pro-feminist Michael Lovan

  *Shelley Lubben Q&A (Ex-Porn Star)    Prostitution FAQ at Genderberg      Fight the New Drug FAQ   

(Note: The No Porn Northampton FAQ is in the bottom half of their sidebar. In addition to the usual questions about pornography it addresses questions and concerns about activism against sexually oriented businesses such as "adult bookstores.")

AntiPornography.org's "Frequently Asked Questions & Responses to Pro-Pornography Arguments"

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Shared Hope International specifically focuses on fighting the demand for commercial sexual exploitaiton, including addressing pornography as a very significant demand factor for sex trafficking. 

Please see their excellent report on this issue:

Pornography: Creating Demand for International Sex Trafficking

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"Pornography is a marketing device for sex trafficking: It normalizes degradation and violence as acceptable and even inevitable parts of sex, and uses the bodies of real women and children as objects. The difference between pornography and erotica is clear in the roots of the words themselves -- porne means females slaves, eros means love -- so pornography, like rape, is about violence and domination, not sex. Millions of lives depend on our ability to separate pornography from erotica, and to disentangle violence from sexuality."

Gloria Steinem, 2006

For information about Gloria Steinem's important work of fighting against the harms of pornography, sex trafficking and other forms of sexual exploitation and abuse, including videos and an audio interview, please see our page on Gloria Steinem. Click here.

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For more information on how pornography fuels prostitution and sex trafficking, please see our page on Pornography and Trafficking.  Click here.  Thank you!

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YOUR HELP IS NEEDED. PLEASE DONATE IF YOU ARE ABLE TO.

Please remember that it is not up to AntiPornography.org, the other organizations listed on this page, the government, or "someone else" to do the entire job of fighting against the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, trafficking, and other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse. It is an enormous job and the responsibility lies with each and every one of us to do our part as part of the bigger team of those who are choosing to be part of the solution of creating a more just and humane world for everyone, rather than be part of the problem.

So thank you in advance for whatever you are able to contribute to the cause, whether in the form of a tax-deductible donation or your actions. What you do does matter, so for the sake of all those across the world who are being exploited and abused, and for the sake of the future of humanity, please do what you can to create a more compassionate and safer society for all.

Thank you for whatever you are able to give or do to help create a better world for everyone, especially for women, children and future generations.

 YOUR SUPPORTIVE ACTIONS & YOUR DONATIONS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. 

THEY CAN AND WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

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THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! IT'S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED AND REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE!

 

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